Did you hear that we killed Osama bin Laden? Because we did. Talk about making a Monday bearable. Slightly less awesome were all the Facebook statuses from Republicans saying things like, "OBAMA HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. STOP GIVING HIM CREDIT." Something tells me you would have blamed him had it gone awry, though. Funny... I thought patriotism meant supporting your country no matter who is running it. Considering Obama is the Commander in Chief of our armed forces I would think you would have given him some of the kudos for killing the man many would consider the most-wanted on the planet. Whatever. I'm just glad it didn't steal the thunder of the Royal Wedding.
Anyway: I was watching a marathon of the show "Extreme Couponing" earlier today. If you've never seen it, lemme tell you, it's INSANE. It's these people (mostly woman, some effeminate men) who are obsessed with with paying drastically less than retail for absolutely everything. They're hoarders, really, because they have these gigantic stockpiles of food in their basements - things they will never, ever use in their lifetime. They will go to the grocery store with this arsenal of crap that will earn them discounts and five hours later they leave with $1000 worth of stock for like 5 cents.
When watching this show for the first time, I was really inspired to clip coupons. Watching as these people get an obscene amount of merchandise for the price of a haircut is incredible. Don't get me wrong: I really like the occasional coupon. Getting free shipping off an online purchase or getting 20% off something expensive really excites me. But these people scour hither, tither, and yon for coupons that they combine ten times over to get ridiculous deals (which is another beef I have with them... since when can you use more than one coupon on a single item? Don't they all say "limit one per item?") They admit to spending the equivalent of 40-60 hours a week on coupon finding and clipping. One maniac actually dumpster dives looking for ads that people have thrown away, and another stalks the neighborhood to find out which houses are being foreclosed on so she can go steal the newspapers that are still being delivered there. Give me a break. Have some self respect. If you are spending that much time finding coupons, cutting those coupons out of newspapers, and then shopping with those coupons, has it ever dawned on you that getting a JOB with all those hours would more than accommodate an increase in the grocery bill?
Discounts are awesome, but I don't see how having a bunker under your house with 9000 bottles of mustard is worth the savings. Granted you got all those 9000 bottles for like $2.00, but that's still a waste of $2.00 considering you will NEVER consume all that mustard. One crackpot had stockpiled over a thousand diapers and she didn't even have a baby. Totally childless. And that's a trend I've noticed on that show: all the stuff these people get with their asinine coupons is complete junk. Gatorade, candy bars, and soda rack up in the hundreds with each purchase. Why in God's name do you need to buy 60 candy bars in one shopping trip? I don't understand why there aren't coupons for peaches or arugula or something that would actually be of some benefit (to keep you alive longer, so you can continue couponing). They couldn't hoard produce, though, it would rot before they got around to eating it. Regardless, if there is some sort of nuclear disaster I know where I'm headed.
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